Though you may know him best as the lovably incoherent paterfamilias of a charmingly tasteless family of too-rich-for-their-own-good L.A. transplants on reality TV, Ozzy Osbourne used to be the singer in a proto-metal band called Black Sabbath. And it was good. But then Ozzy acquired an acute case of L.S.D., brought on by drug and alcohol abuse and other people telling him he was bigger than the band. He believed them (to be fair, it might have been tough to hear reason over the sound of stadium crowds chanting "OZ-ZY! OZ-ZY! OZ-ZY!" at every gig) and started throwing his weight around.

Then he went solo, making a series of albums that weren't as good as Black Sabbath's, but which sold more copies. Thus Ozzy's worst habits -- campy outrageousness, substance abuse, the whole Satan thing -- were encouraged, leading to the eventual Ozzy industry that gave us "The Osbournes." Sure, it's good telly, but it's no Black Sabbath.

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